this could be goodbye.

i thought i should probably check in for what could be my final post.  as most everyone (everyone who is anyone, anyway) knows, my best friend betsy had twin girls approximately one month after our little ducks arrived.  while, up until now, this has seemed like nothing short of a miracle, i feel these blessed feelings could come to an abrupt end tomorrow.  why, you ask?  well, she has somehow convinced me that it is a good idea to load the four girls up tomorrow morning and take them to the legend's shopping center.  she will unfortunately have to leave her other three kids at home because neither one of us can afford to rent a bus.  so, we will load all four car seats, two double strollers, a thousand diapers and wipes, at least fifteen changes of clothes for the babes plus fifteen more for her and i, rattles, blankets, burp cloths and every other baby related item you can imagine into her van and hit the open road.  i feel a loaded cooler of adult beverages would ease the pain but let's face it, that is not going to win us any mommy of the year awards.  so we will go.  sober, we will go.  it is quite interesting how our definition of "fun" has evolved over the years.  i will post some pictures below in case i end up tying myself to the train tracks tomorrow. although, i am sure josh would do a fine job raising the babes without me i am certain he would not update the blog...

it's bananas - b.a.n.a.n.a.s

yep.  that's right.  the babes are officially eating.  sort of, anyway.  we gave them bananas for the first time and they seemed to enjoy it.  they were a little confused, but wouldn't you be if you had only milk for all of your life and then someone shoved a chunk of banana in your mouth?  i think so.  i can't believe they have officially began eating solids.  what's next, the prom?

better late than never??

oh gosh.  where do i begin?  it has been so long since i have updated this thing that i am not sure i could ever catch up.  i was threatened by my good buddy j-dub that if i didn't i was going to be removed from his favorites list and, well, i just can't let that happen.  so, here goes...

the babes turned six months old yesterday which is difficult to fathom.  while being in children's mercy seems like a lifetime ago, the rest has gone by at record speed.  although, there have been some really, really long days...to say the least.  while being in the hospital was not at all what we wanted, i try to look back at that time lovingly and choose to remember it as the first days with our spunky little ducks.  i have had the pleasure of keeping in touch with several of the nurses there who check in on them regularly via facebook which is nice.  thinking of some of the children there we certainly could have been a lot worse off.  nonetheless, i am happy to put that chapter of our lives behind us.  looking back at pictures the babes seem so small!  i remember holding them and thinking they weren't that tiny, maybe that is what i was trying to tell myself.  they were itty bitty little darlings but of course the sweetest, sassiest, most beautiful babes i have ever laid eyes on.  we wanted fraternal twins, that were different and each with their own personality and that is exactly what we got!  it really does put the whole nature vs. nurture argument into perspective when you are raising two of them simultaneously. they seriously could not be more different.  the only thing they seem to have in common is their temperament, we are fortunate that they are both extremely good babies. thank goodness.  i am not sure we would have survived the previous six months otherwise.

making the transition back to work in january was bittersweet to say the least.  while, i must admit, i enjoy getting out of the house and interacting with adults, i miss them like crazy.  we are very happy with the daycare they are attending although they have been sick all winter long it seems.  we knew that was part of it.  they will certainly have the strongest immune systems on the block by the time they go to kindergarten!  the staff there is terrific and we really could not be more pleased with the care they are receiving.  one of the ladies sends me mobile pics throughout the day which is just one of the many nice things they do to make the difficult adjustment easier.  we are fortunate that they go there three days a week and barb watches them the other two.  i don't know how people raise kids without family around.  i think josh and i both would have lost our minds if we didn't have such a terrific support system.

in regards to major milestones, they are right on track even though they decided to crash the party five weeks early.  they are both rolling over both ways, smiling, laughing and all of that good stuff.  i swear they learn a new trick every day which is a lot of fun.  i, of course, enjoyed the baby stage but i am especially loving being a parent now that they are so much more interactive.  i was concerned for awhile because they didn't seem to be paying much attention to one another but boy is that changing.  they are constantly babbling and tugging at one another which makes me realize that the difficult part may be yet to come!

josh is probably the cutest dad there ever was.  seriously.  i don't know how i would have survived if he had not played such an integral part in their care.  it is definitely 50/50 around here by his choice which makes it all that more sweet.  i didn't think i could love him more but watching him with his girls has definitely strengthened our already solid bond.  don't get me wrong, he still makes me crazy, but damn i love that man.  it is evident that our little sugar bears do too.  i am quite positive that they will not hear no from him very often.

i know i say this every time i post, but i really am going to get better about updating this thing.  it feels good to get these thoughts out, its finding the time to do it that is difficult!  much love to all who have been there.  we feel so blessed everyday to have such and amazing group of friends and family!  I have included some recent pictures below of the babes!

fine young canninals

there are not words to describe how much i love this video...

playtime

the first time the babes played on their baby einstein mat that josh is obsessed with:)  he was so happy they enjoy it.

labor of love

i guess it is about time i update this this thing before i forget everything that has happened in the past four weeks!  i can hardly remember what i did fifteen minutes ago, although i am sure it either involved a bottle or a diaper, so bare with me as i try to recall the events post children's mercy.  we ended up having to stay at children's mercy an extra twenty-four hours past the day we were set to be released which almost put me over the edge.  long story short, we ended up with a nurse on his first night on the job who became over-zealous and gave potter oxygen in middle of the night when she did not need it.  it was probably the most frustrating twenty-four hours of the whole stay.  it was so painful because we knew the doctor was making us stay because such event was charted and they didn't want to be liable should something happen when we got home, which they did not at all forsee.  don't get me wrong, if the doctor told us either one of them needed to stay because of genuine concern, i would have stayed the entire year, it was just overwhelming to know that we were there to cover someones tail.  i guess, on the bright side, there was nothing wrong with her but at that point we were so ready to go home it was absolutely heartbreaking to find out we would be there another night.  and everyone kept saying "it's only another twenty-four hours" which made me want to kill people.  another twenty-four hours in the hospital where you have already spent the previous three weeks seems like a lifetime.  nonetheless, the next morning came and we were finally on our way home!  josh drove, and i rode in back with the babes.  it felt so good to be free as cheesy as that sounds.  it made me happy to have sunlight on all of our faces.  they seemed to enjoy it as well and did not make a peep the whole drive home.  the second we got home it finally felt like all was right with the world again.

the first two weeks josh stayed home with us which was nice because it really allowed us to get settled into a routine.  one of the silver linings of staying at children's mercy for so long was we had already figured a lot of stuff out and managed to have the girls on a schedule.  we feel very blessed as they are both really good babies.  they both definitely have their own personality already but are very much alike in their temperament.  all of the things that seemed impossible before...holding them simultaneously, feeding them simultaneously, changing five thousand diapers a day...we could now write a book on.  when josh had to go back to work and i had to figure out how to do all of those things solo was one of the most terrifying experiences ever but we survived.  and quite well i might add.  its always worse than you think it is going to be in your head.  their big brother, kemper, has been absolutely wonderful.  at least one hundred times better than i could have imagined.  i can't wait until they are big enough that the three of them can play together.  actually, i don't want that to come too soon but can imagine it will be a lot of fun.

of course, we have had a few bumps in the road.  potter is really congested all of the time which the doctor said is completely normal.  i just hate feeling like i can't do anything for her.  she sounds absolutely awful sometimes.  i have nursed them both exclusively until this weekend when we had to begin supplementing with formula because i developed infectious mastitis early in the week which caused my supply to drop.  i had heard about mastitis and what it was but could have never imagined it could be so painful.  i had a temp of nearly 102 for three days accompanied by the worst chills and body aches i have ever had.  and i can't even begin to put into words how my boobs feel.  i had to stop nursing them and pump exclusively until i am healed and then hopefully my supply will increase to what is was before and they can go back to getting only breast-milk.  breastfeeding two babies is definitely a labor of love but i truly enjoy it.  it gives me an opportunity to bond with each baby individually which i enjoy.  although, sometimes in middle of the night i am not sure which baby i am bonding with:)  a couple of weeks ago they began sucking on each others heads when they get hungry which is probably the most adorable thing i have ever seen.  finley's hair will literally be matted up in the back where potter sucks on it.  i have lots of video i can use to blackmail them in the future.

i know i say this every time, but i am going to get better about updating this thing.  i know i didn't include a lot of details today but i felt i needed to get everyone caught up and then i can start documenting all of the funny -and not so funny- stuff that they do.  even if it is just to jot down a quick paragraph, i know i need to get these stories out while they are still in my head.  josh and i both feel so incredibly blessed that we finally have our babes.  it truly feels as if everything in life has come full circle.  we are so grateful to everyone who has supported us on this journey.  a very special thanks to everyone who helped while we were in children's mercy and since we have been home.  i honestly don't know how we would have eaten if it weren't for so many wonderful friends and family members.  i am pretty sure you could not find two happier - or more sleep deprived - people on the planet right now.  josh and i are both happier than we could ever be with our new family.  much love to all.

what the beep

it finally looks as if we are nearing the end of our stay here at children's mercy although i don't think either of us will believe it 100% until we are on the road.  there is no way i could put into words how ready josh and i are to take our babes home.  it probably sounds crazy given all we have gone through thus far but in some way it feels as if our new journey into parenthood has yet to begin.  i don't think it will feel entirely real (for me anyway) until we are nestled in at home.  there have been so many ups and downs over the past almost three weeks it is unbelievable.  however, since we moved to a family room it has been much easier on all of us i believe.  sure, we are up every two hours feeding and could not keep up with diaper changes if we tried but it is wonderful.  completely and utterly exhausting but wonderful.  that has honestly not been the stressful part, we knew that was going to be life for sometime to come.  it is being trapped within these four walls waiting for word that has been positively exhausting.  that, and the monitors.  i swear to goodness i will be hearing beeps for the next 6 months.  the nerve-racking part is most of the times the monitors go off it means nothing at all but of course it freaks us out every time!  the babes are fattening up fast which is wonderful. as of last night finley was back to her birth weight of 5 lbs 9 oz and potter had exceeded hers by 6 ounces weighing in at 4 lbs 12 ounces.  i am literally a milk machine which is helping them grow strong.  it is the most unbelievable thing i have ever seen.  as of today we have 62 bottles of frozen breast milk!  that will certainly come in handy when they begin daycare, not to mention if josh and i want to escape the house for a few hours.  i feel like i have a lot more to add and will hopefully have time soon but right now the munchkins are screaming for dinner so i better scoot.  we will let everyone know when we finally get home.  as usual, we appreciate all of the love and support from everyone!