just received a letter from dr. brabec detailing our appointment next wednesday. it clears up a lot of the questions regarding what will take place. i have copied an excerpt below...
Your consultation will be structured as follows: you and your partner will first meet with the nurse. She will review your history and prepare you for your visit. You will then meet with Dr. Brabec. During your visit, you will have a consultation and physical examination including a pelvic ultrasound. Dr. Brabec will review the results of your history, examination, labs and ultrasound with you, and make treatment recommendations. Your nurse will review new prescriptions and schedule any necessary procedures or tests (bloodwork may be performed including infectious diseases screening which is a requirement prior to treatment). A financial counselor will be available to discuss costs and insurance with you.
we were pleased to learn that we haven't waited four long weeks to get a 15 minute appointment. it also states in the letter that we will be there for several hours so i thought i should give those of you who will be anxiously waiting news a heads up.
we are very excited about getting this process started and are doing everything we can to prepare. barb gave me a a couple of guided imagery cd's that has guided meditations to help with fertility. for those of you less familiar, guided imagery is a popular form of directed daydreaming, a very simple way of meditating that is very easy, and actually quite relaxing. I have also recently started doing fertility yoga which has been very nice. we have found mixed opinions regarding acupuncture so we are going to wait to see what advice the doctor gives us. so, that is all for now. i assume we can count on everyone sending positive vibes our way next week. i believe if i get a clean bill of health the process should move along pretty quick. as always, we will keep you posted, ad nauseam:)
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Things that make you go hmm...
Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues, wrote a serious of monologues and stories inspired by girls she has visited around the globe titled I Am An Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World. While the book is intended primarily for teenagers and young adults I found this particular monologue very interesting and thought I would share! It is quite lengthly, but well worth the time in my opinion. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did...
YOU TELL ME HOW TO BE A GIRL IN 2010
Questions, doubt, ambiguity, and dissent
have somehow become very unmasculine.
Authoritarian maniacs are
premiers, czars, and presidents.
Each one is more righteous than the next.
Each town they bomb
each human they kill
is done for "humanitarian" purposes.
People don't own the water in their own village
and they certainly don't own the diamonds or gold.
Millions are forced to make dinner out of garbage and dust
while Russian businessmen and movie stars
are buying 500-million-euro villas on Cote Sud.
Bees have stopped making honey.
People are drilling in all the wrong places.
The U.S., Russia, Canada, Denmark and Norway all claim the Arctic
but none of them seem to care that the polar bears are drowning.
They are fingerprinting, photographing our licenses and teeth.
Big Brother is now in our phones, our pods, our PCs.
Not one of us feels even a little safer.
New age mental health providers turn
out to be former war torturers with beards.
And the pope in a dress showing off his
ermine trim and cuffs
is telling everyone that
people kissing people they love is the greatest evil.
A woman running for U.S. vice president
believes in creationism
but not global warming.
Why is everyone so much more afraid of sex
than SCUD missiles?
And who decided God wasn't into pleasure?
And if the hetero nuclear family is so great
how come everyone is fleeing it
or paying their life savings just
to sit in a room with a stranger and cry about it?
The Iraq war cost nearly $3 trillion.
I can't even count that high
but I know
that money could have
would have
ended poverty in general
which would have canceled terrorism.
How come we have money to kill
but no money to feed or heal?
How come we have money to destroy
but no money for art and schools?
The fundamentalists now have
billion-dollar private armies.
The Taliban is back
but never went away.
Women are burned, raped, bludgeoned, sold,
starved, and buried alive
and still don't know they are the majority.
Water is clearly nearly running out
but even in the desert where there's serious drought
the golf courses are green and lush
and the swimming pools are full of water
for the twelve rich people who might decide to come.
Special people adopt hand-picked babies in faraway lands.
Their flights there cost more
than the babies' parents made
this year.
Why don't they just give it to them?
Slavery is back
but never went away.
Just ask anyone who has been whipped
how deep the legacy.
Six million dead in the Congo
and they never made the news,
and don't tell me it doesn't have
to do with color
and minerals.
Poor folks are dying first
From hurricanes
Shame
Tsunamis
Radiation
Pollution
Floods
And neglect.
Rich folks
just put up fancier super-electrified gates
on their private perfect cities.
Everyone's having "benefits"
and throwing fancy parties
with lots of swag
so the rich people feel good about giving
away the tiny little bit of the whole lot they have.
But no one really wants to change anything.
If you really want it
you have to give something up
like everything
and then those that have, wouldn't,
and then who would they be?
And that's too complicated
so they write checks
and keep doing the same old things.
Selling change.
Making revolution profitable.
Corporations own everything anyway
even our hippie jeans, memory cells, and rain.
Why do so many women leaders look like Margaret Thatcher
and act even meaner?
Why doesn't anyone remember anything?
And how come rich bad people
get paid lots of money to give speeches
and poor bad people are tortured
and in prisons?
Is there anyone in charge?
Or is this whole thing spinning until it explodes
or dissolves?
And if there is something we can do
why aren't we doing it?
What happened to fury?
What happened to accuracy
or accountability?
What happened to not showing off your wealth?
What happened to kindness?
What happened to teenagers rebelling
instead of buying and selling?
What happened to teenagers kissing
instead of blogging or dissing?
What happened to teenagers marching
and refusing
instead of exploiting and using?
I want to touch you in real time
not find you on YouTube.
I want to walk next to you in the mountains
not friend you on Facebook.
Give me one thing I can believe in
that isn't a brand name.
I'm lonely.
I'm scared.
Girls younger than me are giving blowjobs
in homeroom
and they don't even know it's sex.
They just want to be popular
and get some respect.
Most girls my age are taking pills
or not getting out of bed
or eating or starving
or getting nose jobs or implants
or getting cut
or twittering away
or covering themselves
or desperate for a way
to be awake without faking
to be alive without freaking
to be serious
to be true
to even think of loving someone
when we're already doomed.
You tell me how to be a girl in 2010
I say let's go for it
if it's all coming down.
I say let's speak it
let's fight it
let's right it
there's nothing to hold on to
if it's already gone.
They left it to us.
It sucks but it's true.
It's you and me baby.
YOU TELL ME HOW TO BE A GIRL IN 2010
Questions, doubt, ambiguity, and dissent
have somehow become very unmasculine.
Authoritarian maniacs are
premiers, czars, and presidents.
Each one is more righteous than the next.
Each town they bomb
each human they kill
is done for "humanitarian" purposes.
People don't own the water in their own village
and they certainly don't own the diamonds or gold.
Millions are forced to make dinner out of garbage and dust
while Russian businessmen and movie stars
are buying 500-million-euro villas on Cote Sud.
Bees have stopped making honey.
People are drilling in all the wrong places.
The U.S., Russia, Canada, Denmark and Norway all claim the Arctic
but none of them seem to care that the polar bears are drowning.
They are fingerprinting, photographing our licenses and teeth.
Big Brother is now in our phones, our pods, our PCs.
Not one of us feels even a little safer.
New age mental health providers turn
out to be former war torturers with beards.
And the pope in a dress showing off his
ermine trim and cuffs
is telling everyone that
people kissing people they love is the greatest evil.
A woman running for U.S. vice president
believes in creationism
but not global warming.
Why is everyone so much more afraid of sex
than SCUD missiles?
And who decided God wasn't into pleasure?
And if the hetero nuclear family is so great
how come everyone is fleeing it
or paying their life savings just
to sit in a room with a stranger and cry about it?
The Iraq war cost nearly $3 trillion.
I can't even count that high
but I know
that money could have
would have
ended poverty in general
which would have canceled terrorism.
How come we have money to kill
but no money to feed or heal?
How come we have money to destroy
but no money for art and schools?
The fundamentalists now have
billion-dollar private armies.
The Taliban is back
but never went away.
Women are burned, raped, bludgeoned, sold,
starved, and buried alive
and still don't know they are the majority.
Water is clearly nearly running out
but even in the desert where there's serious drought
the golf courses are green and lush
and the swimming pools are full of water
for the twelve rich people who might decide to come.
Special people adopt hand-picked babies in faraway lands.
Their flights there cost more
than the babies' parents made
this year.
Why don't they just give it to them?
Slavery is back
but never went away.
Just ask anyone who has been whipped
how deep the legacy.
Six million dead in the Congo
and they never made the news,
and don't tell me it doesn't have
to do with color
and minerals.
Poor folks are dying first
From hurricanes
Shame
Tsunamis
Radiation
Pollution
Floods
And neglect.
Rich folks
just put up fancier super-electrified gates
on their private perfect cities.
Everyone's having "benefits"
and throwing fancy parties
with lots of swag
so the rich people feel good about giving
away the tiny little bit of the whole lot they have.
But no one really wants to change anything.
If you really want it
you have to give something up
like everything
and then those that have, wouldn't,
and then who would they be?
And that's too complicated
so they write checks
and keep doing the same old things.
Selling change.
Making revolution profitable.
Corporations own everything anyway
even our hippie jeans, memory cells, and rain.
Why do so many women leaders look like Margaret Thatcher
and act even meaner?
Why doesn't anyone remember anything?
And how come rich bad people
get paid lots of money to give speeches
and poor bad people are tortured
and in prisons?
Is there anyone in charge?
Or is this whole thing spinning until it explodes
or dissolves?
And if there is something we can do
why aren't we doing it?
What happened to fury?
What happened to accuracy
or accountability?
What happened to not showing off your wealth?
What happened to kindness?
What happened to teenagers rebelling
instead of buying and selling?
What happened to teenagers kissing
instead of blogging or dissing?
What happened to teenagers marching
and refusing
instead of exploiting and using?
I want to touch you in real time
not find you on YouTube.
I want to walk next to you in the mountains
not friend you on Facebook.
Give me one thing I can believe in
that isn't a brand name.
I'm lonely.
I'm scared.
Girls younger than me are giving blowjobs
in homeroom
and they don't even know it's sex.
They just want to be popular
and get some respect.
Most girls my age are taking pills
or not getting out of bed
or eating or starving
or getting nose jobs or implants
or getting cut
or twittering away
or covering themselves
or desperate for a way
to be awake without faking
to be alive without freaking
to be serious
to be true
to even think of loving someone
when we're already doomed.
You tell me how to be a girl in 2010
I say let's go for it
if it's all coming down.
I say let's speak it
let's fight it
let's right it
there's nothing to hold on to
if it's already gone.
They left it to us.
It sucks but it's true.
It's you and me baby.
Friday, February 5, 2010
attack of the whatifs...
long night last night thinking about the whatifs. unfortunately, some nights i am unable to shut my thinker off. ugh! anyway, it made me think of a poem from my childhood and i thought i would share.
Whatif by Shel Silverstein
Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow tall?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!
Whatif by Shel Silverstein
Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow tall?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
t minus four weeks
well, it's official, we have an appointment! exactly four weeks from today we go see dr. brabec about getting the in vitro fertilization process started! whoo whoo! i realize to some it may seem odd to be so thrilled about having to go through in vitro, but i think after all we have been through in the past couple of months and fearing the possibility that there would be no possibility, we are just stoked to have a shot at a baby of our own. i know everyone has a lot of questions/concerns about the process as do we, but i just can't tell you anything for sure about time frame/procedure until we meet with the doctor. believe me, i wish i could!
josh is recovering well from his biopsy, in fact the stitches are almost gone. of course we have already started bickering about names, baby room decor, etc. but it is so nice to talk about having a child without so much stress and anxiety tied to it. we are relishing in the excitement now because we know in a month things are going to get real again. we found out that josh might have to give me the hormone injections, it just depends on the clinic. i will tell you, he is far more excited about the possibility than i am.
on another note, i had my semi-annual melanoma check up today and all is well. i am officially two years cancer free which feels awesome. after five years the chances of it recurring decreases dramatically so two down, three more to go! speaking of cancer, terrible, nasty, awful, disgusting cancer, i would like to make mention of a very dear friend who's father is now battling cancer for the second time. i can't even begin to understand why this terrible thing has happened to such a wonderful family, not only once, but twice. what i do know, is that they are strong beyond their own comprehension and will get through it whatever the outcome may be.
anyway, just wanted to get this out there to anyone who might be paying attention:) i will try to make a post on march 3rd after our appointment but it might be the 4th before i get to it. the avett brothers are playing in columbia and i think josh and i are going to try to go. we think it is a good sign they are playing on our big day!
one more thing...just want to say, cause i probably don't do so enough, that we are so grateful for everyone's support. it is because of our friends and family that we are able to get through these trying times. our cup runeth over...
josh is recovering well from his biopsy, in fact the stitches are almost gone. of course we have already started bickering about names, baby room decor, etc. but it is so nice to talk about having a child without so much stress and anxiety tied to it. we are relishing in the excitement now because we know in a month things are going to get real again. we found out that josh might have to give me the hormone injections, it just depends on the clinic. i will tell you, he is far more excited about the possibility than i am.
on another note, i had my semi-annual melanoma check up today and all is well. i am officially two years cancer free which feels awesome. after five years the chances of it recurring decreases dramatically so two down, three more to go! speaking of cancer, terrible, nasty, awful, disgusting cancer, i would like to make mention of a very dear friend who's father is now battling cancer for the second time. i can't even begin to understand why this terrible thing has happened to such a wonderful family, not only once, but twice. what i do know, is that they are strong beyond their own comprehension and will get through it whatever the outcome may be.
anyway, just wanted to get this out there to anyone who might be paying attention:) i will try to make a post on march 3rd after our appointment but it might be the 4th before i get to it. the avett brothers are playing in columbia and i think josh and i are going to try to go. we think it is a good sign they are playing on our big day!
one more thing...just want to say, cause i probably don't do so enough, that we are so grateful for everyone's support. it is because of our friends and family that we are able to get through these trying times. our cup runeth over...
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