boob job

i am mildly irritated by an article i read in self magazine regarding infertility.  not so much at self as i believe they are trying to convey the same thing as i, but at the couple that is discussing their infertility.  the article focuses on the anonymity of couples who experience some sort of infertility and make the decision to use ivf or other treatment options to help achieve pregnancy.  the couple that is sharing their story chose to only be identified by their middle names because their friends, coworkers, nor even their parents know they are using infertility treatments in hopes of conceiving.  when they get the dreaded "when are you going to start  a family" question they respond by stating, even to family members, that they are not going to have any children.  don't get me wrong, there are many responses i would like to give to people who ask me when josh and i  are going to start a family, but i choose to take the high road and politely let them know that josh and i started a family on june 3, 2007 when we married. to me that is a question that should be as forbidden as "are you pregnant."

i am not entirely sure what my irritation is with this couple yet so forgive me if i ramble a bit, of course anyone who actually reads this is used to that.  i try not to be judgmental and understand that just because they handle their infertility different does not make them wrong but if i am being honest i think this is part of the reason infertility is not widely recognized as a problem.  i am not sure if i feel as comfortable as some do calling it a disease but it is certainly no walk in the park.  i can say that viewing it as a "cosmetic procedure" as the insurance industry does is complete b.s.  seriously?  if i finally decided to get those hooters i have been talking about all these years it should be considered cosmetic and no one should be expected to pay for it, but a married couple trying to conceive is "cosmetic?"  i know the line has to be drawn somewhere but that seems absurd to me.  i should also note that should so-called cosmetic procedures someday be covered under insurance plans i will have a new baby and a new set of hooters:)

i don't know the intimate details of this couple's life so it is easy for me to question why they would keep it a secret.  maybe they don't have the fabulous support system that josh and i have and don't feel comfortable enough in their own surroundings to share such sacred details.  obviously right off the bat we know that josh and i are very different as we have chosen to put every sordid detail out on the world wide web for anyone to ridicule.  i guess my main concern with their approach is that to me the secretive nature implies that there is something wrong with what they are doing.  while i would not have chosen this path for josh or i, i am proud to tell anyone who will listen that these are the great lengths that we will go to to have a child.  i am proud to say i have such an incredible sister and brother-in-law who are so willing to help us along our journey.  i also believe that while there will undoubtedly be times in our child's life that they have questions or concerns they will know and understand completely why we chose this path.

i do believe that there needs to be more awareness of the amount of people who suffer from infertility and i think the more people that are scared to share the less we will accomplish.  at the end of the article the couple achieves their lifelong dream of pregnancy and after 14 weeks with no problems they tell their parents but opt to leave out the long road it took to get there.  to each their own, i am happy to see another couple using ivf is having a baby, it reminds me that it is possible.  the last question the soon-to-be mother is asked is if she would consider joining the fight for the cause to which she responds that she recognizes the need for more research and understanding but is afraid to be vocal for fear that it might get her into trouble at her health-policy job.  fear is a real bitch,  ya know?  here is someone who is already in a perfect position to help give infertility a voice but is too afraid.  hey, i know jobs are important, especially in this economy and i am sure she has racked up a healthy bill from all of those "cosmetic" procedures she has been having. alright, i will leave it at that.  but, believe me i could go on.

on a lighter note, actually a heavier note, our egg donor consultation is in two days!  i can't believe it is finally here.  cassidy, j.d., josh and i all sat down and had a very candid conversation this weekend about every question/concern we have going into this.  it was nice for all of us to get it off our chest and address the elephant in the room.  we will likely be there 4-5 hours so i am not sure if i will report back thursday evening or not.  however, it usually feels good to get all the details out while they are still fresh so my guess is i will have some news sooner rather than later.  until then...