after almost four weeks we finally have an appointment scheduled for july 22nd. we have been very pleased with rrc from the beginning but getting this appointment scheduled has been a complete nightmare! i was so pleased with our previous ivf coordinator brandi and i just pray that our new one, marge, is as warm and sympathetic as her. so far it is not looking too good. my interactions with her thus far have been pale in comparison but i am choosing to give her the benefit of the doubt until we meet for our consultation. i am not worried at all about her giving us any trouble since i am bringing my muscle (cass) with me:)
as far as how the appointment will go i am not entirely sure. they require that cass and jd both go along with us which only makes sense. for our first consultation we were there for 4 1/2 hours and they told us to plan on being there awhile for this one as well. on top of everyone we had to meet with last time, financial coordinator, ivf coordinator, scientific director, ivf doctor, we also have to undergo a psychiatric consultation. while i think this is great protocol i find it extremely amusing. i think anyone who knows cass and i would understand why.
when cass and i went to pick up her medical records to take over to rrc we were of course reading the doctors notes, who could resist? on one of her charts it said "patient non-compliant." when cass was pregnant with zoe she was put on bed rest towards the end of the pregnancy and she did what anyone put in that situation would do...she went to wal mart. hey, she had a one year old and needed diapers, and knowing cass probably some cheetos or something of that sort as well. about halfway through wally world she felt dizzy and had to call mom to meet her at wal mart to take her back to the doctor. needless to say, the doctor wasn't happy. i tell this story not because i am worried at all about cass being compliant with all of the protocol throughout this process, i know she wants a niece or nephew as bad as i want a son or daughter, but i find it extremely humorous this team of doctors will be trying to evaluate if she is an appropriate donor and this story is bound to come up. i can just picture one of the doctors asking why she was non-compliant and cass, instead of just saying she should have went home, trying to explain to them how she needed diapers:) i truly think we could make a reality t.v. show out of this whole process.
i have said all along that i would feel a sense of relief once i had the appointment scheduled and i, as usual, was right. i guess it is my ocd, but just seeing it on the calender makes me feel so much more relaxed. i am starting to feel good about going through this again, i can even feel a little excitement as crazy as that sounds. there have been a few very rough times over the past month in particular where i have wondered if i would ever come out of this funk but i think i am slowly overcoming it. i have still been going to acupuncture which seems to help as well. i am not sure if it is the placebo effect or if it truly works but either way i am positive it makes me feel more sane.
i have done some research on when the best time to tell a child that an egg donor was used and of course everyone says something different ranging from tell them early on to not telling them at all. one viewpoint in particular i found interesting was that of a l.c.s.w. she believes that you should tell the child at a very early age. she feels it is inappropriate to tell a child after they have already begun forming their own identity. if a child learns this information at say age fourteen they have already formed an image in their mind of who they think they are and that information in a way could challenge that. this makes a lot of sense to me. if they grow up knowing then i believe there will be less shock value so to speak. plus, keeping it a secret implies that there is something wrong with the path we have chosen which i do not believe to be true.
as for where jason falls into all of this we are not sure yet. we are hoping to get more information on that at our consultation. it will certainly be a bit of a juggling act with him being in portland but i am confident we can make it work. this is just one more reason i think they should move closer to home...sorry jas and jodi, i will never let it go:) more than anything i am just overwhelmed that we have such awesome siblings to help us out with this. it just feels right. 100%. it is easy to say it is no big deal but the fact is it is a huge deal. a life-altering deal. cass is already juggling being a parent to two wonderfully crazy kids while simultaneously going to nursing school and working full time. jas and jodi are balancing work with raising a beautiful new baby girl a million miles away. to say this will be easy or convenient for either of them would be untrue.
anywho. i am looking forward to jumping back into this process and of course keeping everyone updated along the way. it is hard to believe we could be starting another cycle so soon. i am officially ready to get this show on the road. wow, i wasn't sure if i would ever get there! thanks again for all of the support over the past few months. this has easily been one of the most difficult times of our lives and i can't imagine how we would get through it without our wonderful friends and family. it can't be fun listening to all of the "why me's" and "what ifs" but having those shoulders to lean on is what has saved me. until we meet again...
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