hellraiser

head full of doubt


there's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light
in the fine print they tell me what’s wrong and what’s right
and it comes in black and it comes in white
and I’m frightened by those that don’t see it

when nothing is owed or deserved or expected
and your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
if you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected
decide what to be and go be it

there was a dream and one day I could see it
like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
and there was a kid with a head full of doubt
so I’ll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out


wow, the avett brothers really do say it best.  i have always been someone who feels like music is an escape, a sort of quiet retreat away from all of the craziness of day to day life.  i have created an itunes playlist titled "baby makin' music" with some of my favorite uplifting songs to listen to on my countless drives to overland park.  it is quite a collection, with everything from joe cocker to wilson philllips.  that's right, wilson phillips, i dare you to find me one girl who was anywhere near a radio in the early 90s that did not sing hold on at the top of her lungs. (shout out to my girls betsy and emily)  I would be willing to bet there are many young boys who did so as well although they are probably unlikely to admit it. ( shot out to my boy dan)  i even have a miley cyrus song on there, it's sad to say but the climb brings me to tears every time.  josh giggles like a school boy and says "i can't believe you are listening to hannah montana"  but I swear one day i saw him wipe a tear away:)


i had a change of heart on the idea of acupuncture.  if you remember, the doctor was pretty neutral on the subject.  the only thing she advised against was taking any kind of chinese herbs. so i figure, what the heck?  let's give it a whirl.  if it increases our chances by 1% than we are that much closer.  I have an appointment with shamayne tate in shawnee mission monday evening and will try to post afterwards.  i am sure you will all be waiting on pins and needles to hear from me:)


in my last post i mentioned needing a book title for my book i will likely never get around to writing.  i so far only have one suggestion but i have to say it should be hard to top.  justin ward, or "j dub" as he is so affectionately referred to, came up with eggs.  over easy please.  enough said.